I think...I'm getting emo ...and slow again . It's really hard to explain this though . Even after my great grandmother's death, even after those short times of crying over her, my heart still can't get over it .
I just drew a random picture of a little girl looking as if she's crying tears of joy and it just struck me . The dream that i had just yesterday . The only thing I remembered was that ... I went to the past, and tried to nurse my great grandmother to good health so that she wouldn't leave us . My last glimpse of the dream was only her smile .
Why would I get this kind of dream right now , and not that few months ago ? . I'm just stating the obvious though . I know I'm acting really weak right now but I just can't seem to get over it .
Maybe this is a gift ... A gift in return . Just last Friday, I've got my ever first pay of my very first job in my entire life . Even if it was only $100, that was the first time I've spent on my great grandmother - even if it was only just $20 .
My first $20 went to the her . That just snapped me out of it . My first gift to her and she's not even there to say a word of 'thank you'. Just a smile from my dream .
...that was just enough to make me cry .